I went to a sessions of teen court here in Statesville the other day and was blown away by what was observed. Teen court is a program designed to help first time teen offenders so that they do not get into the “real” court system. The young men and women who have been through the court sit on a jury and give out sanctions such as community service, substance abuse classes, letters of apology, etc. for various offenses.  This program is awesome and Statesville is very fortunate to have it.

The session I observed hit so close to home.  It was as though it were Paxton at 15 sitting in the stand being questioned. The kid had taken some of the siblings ADHD medication to school and had given them to another kid who then sold the pills. I have ADHD and could relate to this because I had done this very thing in high school but had not been caught. The kid sat on the stand while being questioned, seeming to be very nervous, face blood red with embarrassment for what had taken place. The  “prosecutor” and “attorney” (former teens who had been on “trial” themselves at an earlier time) asked the kid several questions which I believe were answered truthfully and then sat down.

Next they called the child’s father to the stand. He was a large gentlemen, tough looking guy, who could easily be identified as a hardworking man. They began asking him questions about his child. The question that really caught my attention was “What went through your head when you got the phone call about what had happened?”  The response that followed is one that I think 90% of parents would say. He said that he never thought that it would be his kid. He went on to say that his kid had a heart of gold, and always trying to help people, may it be working with community organizations to feed veterans, or helping a childhood friends that struggled with difficult things. He kept saying how good the kid was and that he couldn’t believe this mistake was made.

As I listened to this father speak I began to think of my own experience.  In high school I used drugs to be cool and to fit in. I also started to think about what my parents always said about me, including the first time getting in trouble with drugs. They always said that I was better than that, that I too had a heart of gold and was always passionate about helping other people.  I think a lot about the pain that I have caused my folks during the years because I didn’t listen to what they told me. Who knows where I would be today if I had followed a better path in life.  The kids in the teen court program are very fortunate to have it. Who knows where I would be today if I would have had something similar.

As a father today I can’t even imagine getting a phone call like this guy got about his child, or my parents got about me. I think I am fortunate that I went through what I did because I know what to look for when it comes to my child. The thing to remember is that drugs and addiction do not care who you are, or what family you come from. It can grab a hold of anyone and it is hard to get out of that grip. I never want to be the father that has to say “I never thought she would do this.” I want to be a living example of how to live and what not to do.

I was trapped in a world of addiction for a very long time, went through what seemed to be hell and back trying to chase that high.  That life took almost everything I had away from me. But while lying, bruised and broken at my final rock bottom, I found God’s grace.  A book by Jay Bakker called “Fall to Grace” literally changed my life. The title is perfect because when I fell to a rock bottom, that’s where I found grace.  Through my addiction and horrible things I had done I thought no one in the universe should love me, especially God.  I found myself trying to turn God’s love off because I was so ashamed of the things that I had done.  But after reading this book, I realized that God loved me the whole time.  He was on my side wanting me to do the right thing and his love never stopped whether I tried to turn it off or not. When I thought I had nothing left in this world, I realized I still had God’s love.

Thank you for reading. Please comment and give feedback.  I would love to hear your side.

Until next time.

Peace, love & grace

pax