Year after year, January 1 comes rolling around like numbers on a roulette wheel. 

When this day arrives, we often make a vow to a New Year’s resolution. If you’re anything like me, that resolution is often put on the back burner until it fades completely.  We make resolutions to exercise more, eat healthy, or to spend more time with our families.  But usually without fail, year after year, it is thrown out the window, often by the end of January.

Since arriving at my current situation, I have made a commitment to myself and the people that are a part of my daily life.  A commitment strengthens over time, but it begins with a single decision. 

The decision I made was to make a difference for the good, no matter the setting.

I strive for this each day as if it is a newfound goal, doing whatever I must to bring smiles to long faces, offering encouraging words to guys who are dealing with pain and despair - something I know all too well.

In doing whatever I can in making a difference in someone else’s life, a difference is being made in mine.  Allow me to give some examples:

A few weeks ago we (the guys with me in my substance abuse class), were given back our workbooks that we work in and are graded on weekly. That week in the workbook, there was a question which asked to list people we would consider to be in our support network and the person’s relationship to us.  After we completed our work, my counselor asked six or seven of the twelve in the group to show me their answers.  Each one of them had my name, Paxton West, listed as a part of their support group.  Their relationship to me said “brother.”  

I cannot even begin to explain in text how that made me feel.  I was shown that my efforts to make a difference were paying off.  I was ecstatic. 

Today something else really cool happened. A group made of a few guys get together to talk about a wide variety of things. I do not know why, but when we get on particular topics, I tend to go off on tangents.  We were talking about people we have lost to addiction or suicide, and I began to speak of people I have lost due to their drug use or when the weight of their troubles became too heavy to bear.

That led me to speak of my own issues with depression and complications caused by my addiction. I spoke of how I have struggled, how I have used drugs to deal with my problems…or better yet, how I used them so I wouldn’t have to deal with life’s problems.  Then my spiel changed to how I now consider my imprisonment a bitter blessing. I believe it was God’s way of applying the brakes to my life. 

Being in prison, behind this fence, prevented me from being in a casket.

Then I shared some of my newfound philosophy as it relates to the things I have been through as well as others I have known who have traveled a similar road. I told the group that I believe everything I have experienced was a prerequisite for me to be able to help others like me. 

I refuse to let the things that I have been through be in vain, to not be used for a greater good.

I expressed to them that today and every day I look for hope in life’s trenches. I continue strive to find the light in the dark days and in everything in life. I try to find the silver lining, may it be a positive or a negative situation, using it as fuel and motivation.  I reminded  them that it is easy to roll over and give up. I’ve learned through my rough road that it is not about how hard or how often you fall, it’s about how you get up and what you do when you rise from the ashes. 

When I was done with my rant, I looked around the room of convicted felons and many of them had tears in their eyes. Each one of them thanked me for sharing, telling me that I had impacted their life, if only for that day.

After my long soapbox stand, I was speechless. I had made a difference where I was. 

Then my own tears came to my eyes.  I could see and even feel my commitment becoming real, right before me.  It was a high I cannot even begin to explain. I was given my daily dose of hope. I could not have been any happier than I was in that moment.

After group was over, a few of the guys pulled me aside to thank me.  I quickly responded saying not to thank me, but to pay the message of making a positive difference forward, and to let grace set their pace in whatever they do in life.

Now I know you are wondering how a New Year’s resolution is related to this, and I’m going to tell you.  In fact, I have a challenge for you.  This year, instead of making a New Year’s resolution that may potentially fade, make a commitment to making a difference wherever you may find yourself.  Commit to finding hope in life’s trenches, the light on dark days, and encourage others to do the same. Live your days with a smile on your face and do whatever you can to spread smiles wherever you go.  When someone is in a dark place, sometimes a smile can be the light to guide them out of the darkness.

Commitment strengthens over time, but begins with a single decision.

Decide to make a difference and allow your commitment to become strong and unbreakable.  Together we can change the world while simultaneously changing our own.

Let grace set the pace.