As I lay on my bunk at Craggy Correctional Center - Minimum, I gaze out a window at the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains. 

My body is in prison, but my mind is far, far away.

With only 110 days left on a two and a half year sentence, my mind tends to stray into lengthy daydreams.  As I dream of my release, an uncontrollable smile fills my weary face, as tears begin to fill my eyes.  I am as a child, waiting to see what Santa drops off on a crisp December morning.

On the other side, the truth is, I am scared to death. When I leave this place, I am going back into a crazy world without a thing to my name. I can feel that familiar feeling in the back of my throat, caused by the realization of being a 27-year-old man without a thing to show for his years. 

My mind races and I feel out of breath as it all settles in. My chest feels heavy.

Then suddenly, I am slammed with an almost overwhelming sense of calm. 

I remember all the folk I am blessed to know that have my back. Then I feel that fire burning ablaze in my chest – that feeling of sheer determination.  I got this…and will hit the ground running upon release to obtain the things I know I can grasp. I want so much more for myself and my family than this bullshit judicial system. 

Then I remind myself that this place saved my fucking life. There is no doubt that I would be in Oakwood Cemetery, just off Broad Street, had God not applied the brakes. 

I was saved by nothing short of pure grace.

Now I will live my life repaying that debt to the grace that was extended to me. Thankful is not a big enough word.

Honestly, I am scared, but I think that is healthy for me. 

I am a convicted felon in the State of North Carolina, therefore finding employment is going to be hard, as well as many other hurdles that come with the stigma of being a felon.  Yet, I know if I continue on the path I have found, I will be just fine. I have vowed to myself to be a spokesperson for addicts and felons alike. Equal right for all is my priority. 

No matter what, grace will set the pace in all I do. I encourage you to do the same.

Until next time, all my love and grace.

 

#letgracesetthepace